New Years Resolutions for Opera Characters:

Salome-           Ich vill nicht shtripen

Wotan-    I will finally use birth control because I do not want any more noisy daughters. (Besides, I can't pronounce their names.)

Iago:    I will act like a cutesy little Teddy Bear.

Tristan-     I respect older people in the theatre with bladder problems so I will take only 10 minutes to die.

Violetta-    I will only take the E  flat in Sempre Libera if They triple my salary.

Andrea Chenier    I will be calmer lest I lose my head.

Amfortas-    I will stop being such a big baby and stop kvetching

Tosca-      The next time I will NOT hit the trampolin.

Witch in Hansel and Gretel     I will go on a total vegetarian diet

Lucia    I will stop imitating that Australian girl and clean up my diction.



De Grieux    The next dude who calls my girlfriend a hooker has to deal with me!

Falstaff    OK, I will cut down on 10 pizzas a day to only 9.

Elsa        I will mind my own business and stop asking people for their name.

OK...add more.............................Charlie (not even drunk)



Category:general -- posted at: 5:58pm EDT


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